9/10 of a Dalmatian

old lady

I have been in a fight with the scale. I want him to be more flexible, he’s a stubborn man who is staying put. And y’all, it is getting more frustrating by the day. The woman pictured above adequately portrays my dismay (and old age). My exercise has been steady and good. The eating has been…well, not great. Not terrible, though. I feel like I’ve done enough to move the numbers on the scale, but yet they aren’t budging.

The frustration has started to creep into the space where the motivation has been sitting. And those catty bitches have been pushing each other around for a week or two to claim the crown of the Queen Bee. Frustration is bigger and meaner and more than likely had older brothers, so she knows how to fight dirty. She was pretty close to winning.

So, I almost cried with relief when I weighed and discovered that I finally hit the 60 lb. mark. As of Thursday, I’m 60 lbs. down from baby #2. And while I still have a long way to go, I decided to celebrate a little at this accomplishment.

pregnancy
Feb. 2016

So this picture was taken right before we left for the hospital to evict the baby. As you can see, I barely gained any weight during pregnancy. Fun fact: I collected all the water in the tri-state area and stored it in my neck/chin and ankles. I’m like a boy scout, I wanted to be prepared with lots of extra water.  The baby weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz, so I can’t really take credit for losing that amount, but the rest is all me.

 

 

60 lb lost
Left: March 2016. Right: June 2017

Ugh, this picture… So the one on the left was taken exactly 1 month after the baby was born and the one on the right was taken on Wednesday. Besides my amazing shirt (thanks Old Navy), I’m not a fan. I thought I’d look at these comparisons and be really inspired and jazzed at my progress. Instead, I see a lot of work left to do and better lighting. Also, might need to work on that tortured smile I’m rocking… *sigh* But there you go, I’ve lost 60 lbs.

 

Since the photographic evidence doesn’t really wow me much, I decided to do a little research on “what weighs 60 lbs.” I figured if I could have a reference for how much weight that actually was, I’d feel more accomplished. The internet, who has never let me down before, came up a little short. My life is full of disappointment and sore body parts (and maybe some dramatic statements from time to time). The first thing I found was a list of fractions.

dalmation

Super helpful list. 9/10 of a dog. What the hell? You couldn’t just find a dog that weighs 60 pounds? According to my keen math skills, I’ll need to lose another 6 pounds to lose an ENTIRE Dalmatian.

octopusThe list goes on to say it is also equivalent to half of an octopus. Half. First of all, I have zero frame of reference of the size and weight of an octopus, and barring a career change, I never will. The only things I think about when someone says octopus is the Hockeytown octopus and the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean. On top of all of that, I have to wrap my mind around how big an octopus is and then divide it by two. AND THAT IS TOO MUCH MATH AND HYPOTHETICAL THINKING. Also, are octopi seriously 120 pounds? That’s really heavy…and do hockey fans throw baby octopi on the ice? Because 120 lbs seems pretty heavy to throw over the glass. I just have so many questions.

So while I have an a lot left to lose, 60 lbs. is nothing to sneeze at. That’s almost an entire firehouse mascot and that’s pretty doggone good.*

*I will not apologize for my puns.

 

 

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