A few screws lose

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“Hey, I’m so fat I broke the bed!” How many times have you said that sentence? Me? I’ve said it twice. Isn’t that fun and sexy?

Apparently when Pottery Barn assembled our expensive bed, they cut costs by using cheap screws. The jokes just write themselves, don’t they? To add to the fun, the weak screws are only on my side and they sometimes just snap in half. So, I’ve broken the bed twice. If you are looking for something to boost your self confidence, may I suggest not sitting on the side of the bed that collapses.

Anyway, being a gal who believes in signs, turning points and Oprah “Aha Moments,” this one was mine. As I shoveled Starburst jellybeans in my mouth, I declared, “Ok, it’s time to get serious about losing weight. Throw these damn jelly beans away!”

My husband, who I will henceforth refer to as Husband, helpfully pointed out, “You bought these.” To which I responded, “I’m looking for support! Not criticism!”

So, here we are friends. I need to lose 45 pounds. ‘Tis a tall task, but I’m going to get there. I did it before, I can do it again. What’s that? I did it before? I’m sure you are asking yourself, “Why didn’t you just stay skinny? Why’d you get fat again?” Good question, reader.

Here’s a recap of how we got here: I had baby 4 and half years ago and got fat. Then I worked hard and lost 100 lbs. Then I had another baby and got fat again. I was a terrible pregnant person. I ate all the food. I did none of the exercise. I gained all of the weight. Also important to note, I’ve officially retired from the baby situation. I produced a girl and a boy. The remaining populating the world responsibilities are up to the rest of you.

So this is my blog that is less “healthy lifestyle” and more “trying not to be fat anymore.” I promise to be honest, I’ll try to be funny and I hope you’ll join me. I’ll take you along to the exercise, the food and the happy and frustrating moments. I happily accept motivation, support and commiseration.

My first adventure begins tomorrow morning when I run a 5K. My very lofty goals are: run the entire time and don’t die.

4 thoughts on “A few screws lose

  1. Yayyy! Love your writing and your stories. Can’t wait to commiserate about all the joys of weight loss with you! (What does it say about me that I just got fat with no babies to blame?) Also – we’re Remembering the 10 tomorrow, too! Go us!

    Like

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